Do you know where you’re going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know…?
Do you get
What you’re hoping for
When you look behind you
There’s no open door
What are you hoping for?
Do you know…?
It can be utterly frustrating when you feel you are stagnant but don’t know where you should go from where you are. Sometimes the reason is that you don’t know how to make things happen, but sometimes its because you don’t know what to make happen.
For example, you hate your job and are applying to whatever openings come your way. But you don’t feel led in any particular direction, you struggle with writing cover letters and explaining why you’re interested in the job, and you’re not getting anywhere with your search. I think the lack of direction is holding you back.
Or, another example, is that you know deep down that your mate is not compatible with you. Your relationship is not working – but you would rather stay with them than be alone. Because you feel that there isn’t much out there for you.
In both of these examples, you’d be trying to roadtrip through a state you’ve never traveled through without a map. Without first knowing your destination, its very difficult to start out on a path and arrive in your intended vicinity without many false starts, rerouting your course and sometimes doubling back on where you’ve already been.
Recover from a false start
One of the best things you can do to maximise your efforts when working toward change is beginning with the end in mind. The ideal situation is starting at the center of who you are and working your way outward. Once you are fully comfortable and knowledgable about yourself, your preferences, decisions and dreams can better correspond to who you are and what truly makes you happy. Once you know what will fulfill your needs, then it becomes a process of working backwards toward the beginning point as much as you can. Its also important not to beat yourself up if you’re not moving as fast as you’d like or if you don’t have all the answers. Both of those issues will be resolved with patience.
But sometimes you either can’t or haven’t begun with the end in mind. What you might have done is sent out 100 resumes to jobs that weren’t targeted to your skills and interest. And your result could be that you get a very small number of interviews and no job offers result. Or, what I consider worse for your long-term goals, you start a new job but find that you’re still unhappy with what you’re doing. And further, you’re dating the same type of person that made your last relationship unsuccessful. What to do from there?
Just realize that you can always begin again. Sit down, fill in the blanks of what will work for you, and then work backwards. You shouldn’t get discouraged from not seeing results when your actions weren’t aligned with the best possible strategy for you. And you could learn valuable lessons about who you are and what you want after you’re prompted to really put in the work and answer the tough questions.
Reroute your course
Sometimes situations aren’t as cut-and-dry as I’ve just described. After soul searching to really get in touch with yourself, figuring out how your likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses play out in the desires that you have, and the goals that correspond with who you really are, reality peeks its head into the room and throws you off balance. The men who have the characteristics that you’re attracted to don’t make you happy like you’d anticipated. You have a job with the salary, coworkers and functions that will move you in the direction you want to go, but something within you just isn’t pleased.
There’s nothing wrong with scrapping it all and starting over. Or altering your course from exactly where you are, instead of traveling to the beginning of the route. We tend to think that doing so will waste all the time it took us to get to our current position, when in actuality the time was spent in improving ourselves and our knowledge about who we are. You could beat yourself up for evaluating, analyzing and making decisions that will lead to your ultimate happiness… or you could recognize that you’re being true to yourself, that it truly is about the journey – not just the destination – and keep it moving to where your heart is calling you to be.
A delay is not a denial
The attitude to have during all of this is that your happiness matters most of all. Realistically, can you be truly happy with just money and no purpose? With a person who shares your life but doesn’t compliment that life? Or with any of the other situations in life that you know aren’t the best for you? If you’ve accomplished a major goal by now you definitely understand why I keep repeating that ‘life is about the journey, not the destination’. At the end of a destination, the fact that you reached there safely is certainly gratifying. But all of the places you’ve been and people you met along the way will stay with you as long as the moment of accomplishment will. So try not to be results-oriented and sacrifice your happiness in the process.