“Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless, and add what is uniquely your own.” ~ Bruce Lee (emphasis added)
When we think of drama, of changes, and of negative situations, we often say “just keep it moving”. But honestly, how often do we do that? I think alot of times we hold onto people, situations, and even things that no longer serve our purposes. Eventually we’ll let go, either when we’re forced to or we’re involved with the negativity long enough that we’re ‘sick and tired’. It doesn’t have to come to that.
Why We Hold On So Long
My hypothesis on the reason we fail to move on is that we hold ourselves back out of fear. We fear failure, we fear success, we fear the judgement of others, and we fear the consequences of our decisions. We date men who clearly are not the best choice for us, because the fear of the unknown is stronger than our pain in these relationships. We eat horrible diets because of the pain of making lifestyle changes. We fear stepping out on faith with radical dreams because we don’t want to ‘hear people’s mouths’ — those people who promise to unconditionally love, support and uplift us, who fall short on those promises unintentionally.
I wouldn’t necessarily say that these people, situations and habits are useless to you, as the quote states; they just aren’t the proper fit. Maybe they were the proper fit for you in the past, but either you’ve grown or the situation changed. However, if you’re holding yourself back from pursuing something greater – greater friendship, greater love, greater health or greater career status – then you’re doing yourself and those things you need to move on from a great disservice. You wouldn’t continue to wear shoes that don’t fit you properly, so its time to stop occupying your time, efforts and mental energies on things that don’t fit you properly either.
Know When Its Time To Go
Toxic relationships are the hardest things to let go. When you love someone as your friend, significant other or relative, its very difficult and painful to cut those ties. In my experiences though, the people that I needed to move on from don’t realize how negatively they affected me. After hemming and hawing for a while, when I finally cut the ties, I didn’t miss them from my life. What’s worse, I realized how much time I’d wasted and how much unnecessary stress I’d put on myself by holding on. In hindsight, I also realized that me holding onto them was causing them from filling the void I would leave with people who were a better fit for them, too.
Sometimes its not fear that’s holding you back, but a negative self-image. If you don’t think you can do better, deserve better or can achieve better, then you’ll stay right where you are. That situation will take you more time to overcome than just moving on. A negative self-image calls for drastic mental change and an overhaul in the way you define yourself. If that’s truly what’s holding you back, then its not about other people, situations or habits – its all about you.
Keep It Moving In Less Time
You should periodically evaluate how you spend your time and the return you’re receiving on your investment.Once you put 2 and 2 together that the situation isn’t working out for you, don’t waste time. What’s the point of saying to yoruself, “this isn’t working for me” and remaining where you are? At that point you can’t blame anyone but yourself for being in that spot. You’ve recognized what you need to do, so after that there’s nothing left but to keep it moving. The longer you stay, the longer you hold yourself back from the love, support, advancement and fulfillment that you really deserve.
What lessons have you learned from keeping it moving in your own life? Have you gotten faster in moving on from situations that no longer serve you? Let a Motivated Sista know!