This is a continuation of yesterday’s post. To read How to treat dating like a job search: part I, click here.
Make sure your resume highlights your skills and attributes
When you’re out pounding the pavement for a job, you take care to appear professional, polished and personable. When you’re dating, make sure you follow this rule too. I admit this is one area that I slack in. Being open to dating requires you to be ‘on’ for the majority of the time, meaning to look attractive, approachable and friendly at all times. Because you never know when or where you’ll meet Mr. or Ms. Right.
Wear clothes that flatter your figure, make you feel sexy (not sleazy), confident and attractive. Keep yourself well-groomed, because details matter. When you look good, you feel good about yourself, and when you are projecting a positive feeling about yourself is when you’re most attractive to others. I’m not suggesting that you sacrifice comfort for appearance, but you already know why the t-shirt and jeans look won’t cut it. Along with this general rule is the fact that you should brush up on current events and have several topics of conversation ready to engage someone with. You don’t want to come across you version of Denzel Washington or Brad Pitt, only to be tongue-tied and looking like a deer caught in the headlights. If you’ve been out of the dating arena for a while, you’ll want to brush up on this aspect. And if you’ve been looking for a while, you’ll want to keep this in mind too.
Post your resume on a few job boards/websites
Next, you’d read the classified ads and go online to find out which companies are hiring. Dating has that option too. I know alot of people scoff at online dating, but its become popular for a reason. No one likes to be rejected and online dating is a way to lessen the sting of someone refusing to give you their number or not being approached when out with your friends. Really think about your fears of online dating and the myths that are out there when determining if its right for you. Yeah, there are crazy people out there, but you’re just as likely to meet them in public as you are online. If you can’t honestly say you’ve never met a jerk, weirdo or man that was a little crazy at a club, bar or party, then I think you should post a profile and see what happens.
As with posting your resume on Monster.com or any similar job website, put in the effort to write an interesting and positive ad. Also make sure to include photos of yourself that are appealing to the opposite sex. Ladies, we already know that men are visual creatures. Its idealistic to think that someone will read your ad, become enamored with your clever and witty description of yourself, and decide to write you off the strength of what you wrote. But realistically, ads with pictures are exponentially more likely to receive a response than ones without pics. And you don’t want to talk to someone without seeing them first, so don’t do that to someone else. Its a numbers game, remember?
Tighten up your interviewing skills
You wouldn’t go on an interview acting all crazy… now if that’s true, don’t let anyone know that I know you (lol). Just as you had to learn how to interview well, being a good date is a learned skill. Dating skills are beyond the scope of this post, but make sure you add that to your dating search checklist. There are tons of books and website that speak on this more thoroughly than I can, so we’ll move on. Just don’t take it for granted that you’ll communicate how great you are and then show up and things not go so well.
One book I highly recommend to women is The Rules. When this book came out in the 90s I remember it made this huge uproar about the advice the authors give about dating. Their pointers may seem old-fashioned or outdated to you, but if what you’re currently doing isn’t working, that may be the indication you need to think of dating in different terms. And remember ladies, we don’t think like men. Taking relationship advice from your girlfriends may not be the best idea. They think like women, not like men, and may not know how to be successful in their search for a mate.