3 Realizations To Avoid This Fate

I really don’t want this to be you. This video is unfortunate on so many levels. Just watch and crack up laughing like I did.

So let’s establish this situation: Max Scott has a 19-year-old stepdaughter, Erika Smith, who is a college freshman. He bought a $2500 car from her and gave her $100 as a deposit. He then borrows $2500 from her grant money to put rims and a stereo in the car.

Then, he lets one of his friends borrow the car, relying on Erika’s insurance coverage on the 14 year-old car to protect him and/or his friend from any accidents. His friend wrecks the car. Adding insult to injury, Max decides that because Erika lives there, and has her friends visit, that he is entitled to her school money scot-free because he takes care of her.


Let’s count all the ways this whole entire situation stinks to high heaven.

Now we’re not simply going to laugh at how pathetic Max is. We’re going to observe the lessons that Erika could take away from this situation and avoid being in similar ones ourselves.

We can all take notes here and realize three things about this case. There’s a saying that once someone shows you who they are, you should believe them. That’s a truth that many hear of but don’t practice often enough. Its dangerous not to, as women are giving by nature and can be manipulated into derailing their dreams to contribute to someone else’s agenda.

Some People Don’t Value The Same Things You Do
Erika put in the effort to get decent grades, apply for school and take classes to earn a degree. From those facts we can assume she values education. Max clearly does not, because he would use her money and then refuse to pay her back, for some rims and a stereo. We can assume he doesn’t value education in the same way that Erika does.

Now Erika was wrong for lending him her Pell Grant money. When I was in college, I had alot of excess money in the form of Pell Grants too, but the only way I would lend that amount to someone was if I knew them to be beyond trustworthy. Jesus would have to come down and guarantee the loan Himself for me to do that. $2500?! Man please!

But ultimately its okay if the Maxes in our lives don’t value the same things that we do. Because we don’t value the same things that other people do either. They’re entitled to hold whatever values they have, just as we are entitled to our values and priorities. The problem lies in assuming that people will respect and honor your values, when they have absolutely no reason and no obligation to.

What would happen if Erika needed that money for books? She also could’ve used it to pay her rent elsewhere since she lived in an undesirable family home. But because she allowed someone else’s values to affect her life, she has to live wherever until he pays her back.

So guard your dreams closely and don’t let other people’s values derail you from reaching them.

Some People Don’t Respect Your Resources
I’m sure you’ve had the experience of lending someone something, and they either don’t return it or give it back less valuable then when you loaned it out. Here was the same situation. Max didn’t value Erika’s money or her car, because he didn’t feel that he should give it back and he let someone else drive the car. Not only that, he relied on her insurance to protect him. It was his responsibility to protect himself and his property, yet he called her irresponsible as a justification for not paying back the loan. I see why Judge Judy asked him if he had a brain.

I was dying laughing at how mad the judge was, but honestly this was sad. Why would you buy rims and a stereo that cost the same amount as the car??? Anyway, I digress…

People don’t value your resources – your time, money, energy and emotions – because they are freely given. They didn’t have to work for that money, take the time out to do what you did, so to them its just a bonus. If you want to ensure that your things remain in good condition, then you keep them yourself. If you worry about how someone feels about you saying no, then what kind of friend are they anyway? Its your stuff and you’re entitled to do as you please with it. Just realize that its yours, so you have more of a connection to it than they do.

Some People Don’t View Life Through The Same Lens As You
During the last few seconds of the clip, Erika’s mother said, “she has her money now, there should be no more arguments.” What the WHAT, lady?! That part made me mad but then I realized that that’s one of the central problems with this case. Everyone comes to a situation with their own viewpoints that have been shaped by their past experiences.

I can’t expect Erika’s mother to view what happened the same way that I did. Hell, I can’t expect you to either. I don’t know what you’ve been through or what you really feel inside, and its unreasonable of me to assume how you’ll react. That being said, we must remember that because other people see things differently, they also view our goals and desires differently too. They could see them in a million different ways than we can, but the ultimate importance and priority is up to us.

If they don’t respect them, then that’s on them. And if we allow their viewpoints to cloud our own, then that’s on us. We only have one life and we must craft it how each of us see fit. The only happiness we can guarantee is our own.

So what other realizations did you make from this video? I’m curious to get your take.

7 thoughts on “3 Realizations To Avoid This Fate

  1. OMG! It was funny and I’m still shaking my head. Unfortunately, this young woman is doomed to repeat the mistake. Unless she gets far, far away from her family, as soon as she gets her degree and a good job, guess what? They all will be back asking for more money. She needs to dump her boyfriend too because he didn’t look that bright either. He knows a good meal ticket when he sees one.

    I gave a guy money once and that was 20 bucks that I didn’t get back. Lesson learned but this…. And the mother’s response and reaction. Good grief, does she need a man that bad? I don’t think she’ll get the 4900 either.

    1. Bwahahahaha!! I wasn’t gonna touch the boyfriend… but I felt the same way! He probably was plotting on the next financial aid check to come in.

      I think she’ll repeat this mistake too. Its unfortunate and I hope she didn’t have to learn the hard way. And her mom probably does think she needs a man that bad… I mean he had to borrow money from her daughter? And that wasn’t an issue??

      I wonder what happens if you don’t pay the judgment if you’re on one of the court shows?

      1. what got me is that the mother stood by and let it happen, this tells me that the mother doesnt stand up for whats right, she wants not to disappoint her man even if hes wrong. wheres the respect in that, he will not have any for her or her daughter, we as women are given the gift to influence and this should have and could have been avoided, the man was wrong from jumpstreet the wife should have said so, she was trying to keep peace but that blew up long time ago. you have to do what is right at whatever cost, if it cost u an arguement with the spouse so be it, and i put myself in her shoes thats what i would have done, cause putting a man first instead of God or wisdom is destruction….IT WAS WRONG AND WE JUST SAW THE RESULT!!!

  2. This was toooooooooo funny! I LOVE Judge Judy. She says exactly what we’re thinking. As far as getting the money…the judgment is actually paid by the show. I know it’s crazy, but this is a link I found answering that question http://bit.ly/9xxdXk. Thanks Anilia for giving me a great laugh today! I’m not sure I’ll ever forget this one…

  3. I don’t watch TV at all but this was down right disturbing. It really is hard to believe that this guy sincerely thought he had a valid argument.

    However, you make a really great point, Anilia. He clearly does not value education (or government loans) in the same way you or any of the the readers of this blog do. I felt as though he didn’t view a Pell Grant as an education grant at all. It was “free money.” But again, your point makes my point null. If he doesn’t value the same things… it’s a pointless argument.

    I’m happy the gal in the video won. Bummer that her Mom didn’t stick up for her but it is great that she is learning early and is getting out and taking care of herself. It took courage to go to court in front of everyone against her own mother and father who were clearly not supporting her. Good for her! That took courage… and motivation!
    Betty Jean recently posted: Podcast- Internal Technology- Get the GPS Plug-in for Your Amazing Grace

  4. I really didn’t find this case very funny at all. However, I did really appreciate her calling him a fool. That definitely put a little smile on my face. That is exactly what he is… a low class loser. The mom’s not much brighter. either unfortunately. The things women will accept just to have a man (and a low quality one at that). I hope Erica and others will learn a valuable lesson.
    Kay recently posted: “Get Your Life In Order” Mode

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