15 Reasons I Love Not Fitting In


For most of my life, I’ve been told that I don’t fit in.

Really, this is ok. I struggled against being told that I’m different, I tried and tried to be like other girls, then other women, especially in college. The older I get the more I embrace the things that make me unique.

The more people I meet, the more I appreciate the person I was born to be. To me, people are like snowflakes – you’ll never meet 2 people that are exactly alike, sometimes you have to dig deeper or get to know a person better in order to realize that. But each person’s individual mark on humankind is always there.

So when Annabel over at Get In The Hot Spot wrote about 35 Ways She Doesn’t Fit In, I thought ‘how cool is this!’ and joined in the fun.

So without further ado, here are 15 reasons I love not fitting in:

  1. I’m an introvert (sometimes people are surprised when I say this, I guess because of #2). I’m really content with sitting quietly by myself, especially with a book in hand. I guess it comes from being raised as an only child.
  2. I’m pretty goofy and I love to ham it up. I didn’t appreciate this about myself until I met my best friend, who’s even more of a jokester than I am. I used to hide my sense of humor (and just make jokes in my own head) and didn’t joke that much. I find that most people either don’t have a sense of humor, or don’t find the same things funny that I do, so I tend to zip it. But once I know you like to laugh, its on!
  3. I’m shy. I wouldn’t say painfully…  having a strong sense of humor helps with breaking the ice. Sometimes I find myself cracking jokes out of nervousness, and I make myself stop and face the fear of meeting new people.
  4. I have a HUGE imagination. Which strengthens my nerdy tendencies. So give me Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Trek, A Song of Ice and Fire, Chronicles of Narnia, The Golden Compass… where was I? Oh yeah —
  5. I love reading and writing more than talking and listening. So if you attended my teleseminar last month, and I sounded a little nervous, well I was. Its much easier for me to write a 500-1,000 word blog post, then have a conversation, especially if it involves more than 1 person.
  6. When I was a kid, I used to write my own stories. I loved reading and thought, “I can make my own books!” I even punched holes in my manuscript pages (written on construction paper) and bound them together with yarn. I also wrote one-girl plays and performed them for my family after dinner. I’d even make the tickets and stick them on the fridge so my family could get into the show.
  7. I question things. Alot. To the point where sometimes I annoy myself. I’ve learned though that asking questions helps you grow and develop. I’ve also learned not to ask questions of the wrong people at the wrong time, like parents when they’re angry, people in church when they’re not willing to see their faith another way… and most Tyler Perry fans (I kid, I kid… kinda).
  8. I don’t like my food to touch on the plate. I also can’t eat from the same spoon or fork that I used to dish the food, unless I rinse it off really well.
  9. Most of the time, I can’t sleep well if I don’t make up the bed. But I mess up the covers when I sleep and don’t like making the bed in the morning. Go figure.
  10. I have an insatiable sweet tooth. If I could, I’d skip dinner altogether and just have wine and dessert. When someone came up with the saying “I love you like a fat kid loves cake,” they were talking about me. Seriously. (Sidenote: a man got on the subway tonight with an IHOP bag and maybe 4 carryout containers. I could smell the pancakes and contemplated mauling him for teasing me like that.)
  11. I have a horrible singing voice. No really, its terrible. My world was crushed when I found out I wasn’t going to be the next Whitney Houston (I’m referring to the pre-Bobby Whitney. I teared up a little watching this video, remembering when she sounded like this and knowing that this phenomenal voice is forever lost. Damn you, Bobby!!).
  12. I avoid anyone and anything that’s too popular. I’m not sure when I began doing this, but if I see that alot of other people like it, suddenly whatever it was loses its appeal. Examples include most popular tv shows (I mean really people, RHOA?? How many of those broads are actually married??), fads/crazes like yoga, Red Bull, 4 Hour Energy drinks, going green, and Facebook is one of the few exceptions to this point. Twitter doesn’t count because I don’t ‘get it’ yet. And my iPhone doesn’t count because I didn’t know how popular it was when I got it, and I just can’t live without it.
  13. Which brings me to: I have an addictive personality. Once I incorporate something into my routine, its really hard for me not to overdo it. Checking emails, going onto Facebook, sweets (as mentioned above), nail polish… The worst is when I find a new song I love. I’ll literally play it 8 hours a day for days on end, until I make myself sick of it. Too bad this tendency doesn’t stick to working out.
  14. Speaking of addictions, the worse one is to paper. I’m a paper-holic. I have to make a concerted effort to purge files and documents that I no longer need. I don’t want y’all to see me on Hoarders!
  15. Lastly, I am extremely afraid of balloons. I’m telling you, I’ll run like a dog is chasing me if one gets near me. It comes from too many times having balloons pop while I was blowing them up. That’s what happens when your Mom designates you as the Official Balloon Blower (I suspect she doesn’t like balloons either!).

So tell me, my Motivated CEOs and Boss Ladies, do you fit in? If not, do you enjoy not fitting in?

19 thoughts on “15 Reasons I Love Not Fitting In

  1. Wow…so much of this resonated with me it’s almost as if we’re really sisters lol. It was good to realize that I CAN celebrate all the things that are truly UNIQUE about me. For a long time I thought it was just different, but unique is truly a better word. This was great motivation today Anilia. Thanks.

  2. Anilia, I’m really surprised that we share so many characteristics – won’t call them quirks. All, except for 11, 15 and 2 to a point, as I’m not goofy by any means, but find that I inadvertently make people laugh. So sometimes I do ham it up when people are paying attention and laughing at my stories mainly.
    Penelope J. recently posted: “Fall Seven Times- Stand Up Eight”

  3. I’m glad I read this post. I share several of your characteristics. I find this coincidental because I wrote a similar post on my blog a couple of days ago. I just had this urge to tell my readers that its okay to be “different”, although I think that every one is different from societal ideals.

    I think that some people, considered weird, are actually the ones with enough courage to show they actually have unique qualities just like everyone else. I don’t think anyone is “normal” like they project at work or at school. I think an Angelia Jolie or Roseanne is actually a lot more common than Claire Huxtable.

  4. I agree with you, I think that we all have characteristics that aren’t ‘normal’, its just that somewhere along the way we’ve conformed ourselves to fit the external/societal definition of ‘normal’. I wish I had known years ago the joy and happiness I’d have by just being ME.

  5. I can soo relate to your post about not fitting in! For years, I have tried to fit in and even now that I am older I try to fit in and still can’t! I few of my homegirls are addicted to lashes and I tried them just to ” fit in” and find myself totally looking crazy! Lol but yea I can relate to you except for numbers 1 and 15. I am between an intovert and extrovert ( is that possible ?? Lol) and I LOVE balloons! Besides flowers, balloons is the second thing that cheers me up :):) but I look forward to more of your posts! Take care!

  6. Thank you for writing this. I’m approaching middle age and I still struggle with accepting myself. I hope with some work I can be just as proud for being an individual. But I have to say #12 is so me too! For some reason I want to fit in, but I hate what everyone loves!

  7. I was looking for quotes on not fitting in and found this post – I had to smile because I totally fit like 8/15 of these :)

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